Tuesday, 6 October 2015

Launch: a one-year experiment in improving relationships

I've just turned 41. 

Over the past year I've been doing a character-building experiment, loosely following a programme devised by Benjamin Franklin, to focus on particular personal qualities and work at enhancing them. 

At the same time, I have delved into my meditation practice more and more, and found myself a little frustrated that I'm not achieving results through both these methods of becoming a more contented person. I think I have a clue as to why. 

A friend of mine, who also happens to be a bit of an expert on mindfulness, told me a couple months ago that true creativity is blocked by anger. Any amount of anger can cause real problems for the brain when it is trying to be creative. 

I also know that anger is a huge issue in my most significant relationship, with my husband, and also affects other relationships too. I am too quick to respond with emotion, and on investigation, it seems there is a lot of anger underneath those emotions. 

All along my journey with mindfulness and with character-building, I have had the aim of building a better relationship with my husband. If I can do that, I will certainly have the tools to have better relationships with others. I don't know where this journey will take me, but it seems a false step to prescribe that journey and anticipate what I will work myself through over the coming year. 

I propose to spend approximately one month working on a particular aspect of my 'self' and how I relate/respond to others. Every month (or more often if needed) I'll check back in to see what I've learned, what the next step seems to be. 

Anger seems a good place to start. 


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